Join me in this journey to embrace our authentic selves, navigating the realm where genuineness thrives. In this blog post, I’d love for you to do a deep dive with me into the core of fear that often masks our authenticity.

As time progresses, ongoing discussions encourage us to let go of the past and embrace new possibilities. However, the weight of these conversations can feel overwhelming, pushing us to conform rather than stay true to ourselves.

The heart of this series isn't about conforming to trends or seeking perfect answers—it's about unlocking authenticity by untangling the chains of fear. Fear, with its multifaceted nature, extends beyond imposter syndrome, revealing itself in various forms such as missed opportunities, comparisonitis, analysis paralysis, perfectionism, and the urge to please.

Fear acts as a barrier, hindering progress toward becoming the person I aspire to be and engaging in activities that ignite excitement within me. Occasionally, that excitement masquerades as fear, causing hesitation before embracing the adventure. Through recognizing this pattern within myself, I’ve learned to question, overcome, and move beyond the recurring scripts that fear has written for me.

The 5 Types of Fear and What Each of Them Mean

Let's bring clarity to what each type of fear means and reveal their unique challenges. Here is a list of common fears and a glimpse into what they signify:

1. The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):

The anxiety associated with feeling left out or behind is often driven by the fear of not experiencing something others are enjoying.

2. Comparisonitis:

The damaging habit of constantly comparing ourselves to others leads to a decline in self-esteem and inhibits personal growth.

3. Analysis Paralysis:

The state of overthinking and indecision hampers progress, making it difficult to move forward due to an excessive focus on potential outcomes.

4. Perfectionism's Hold:

The relentless pursuit of flawlessness is often associated with imposter syndrome, which can hinder personal growth and success by creating unrealistic standards.

5. The Disease to Please:

The constant need for approval and the fear of disappointing others, lead to a pattern of people-pleasing behavior at the expense of one's well-being.

While I can find myself entrapped within each of these types of fear at times, the one that tightly grips me is the ‘Perfectionists Hold’. Being aware of this pitfall allows me to swiftly shift my mindset beyond this particular trap that holds me back from the growth I envision.

How Each Type Of Fear Plays Out In My Life (And How I Navigate Away From Them)

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):

I experience FOMO when invitations conflict with existing commitments. This feeling arises when I'm not grounded in my priorities and the 'WHY' behind scheduling essential activities.

Allowing FOMO to influence decisions can lead to neglecting priorities. In such instances, stay true to yourself by maintaining flexibility and assessing alignment with your inner self before succumbing to social pressure.

Comparisonitis:

Did you know that women are more susceptible to comparisonitis than men?! As indicated by a 2022 study revealing that female university students tend to engage in upward comparisons more frequently than their male counterparts.

If you've experienced this, know that you’re NOT alone. Personally, I vividly recall dealing with comparisonitis as far back as grade school, particularly when comparing my clothing to other girls in my class.

And maybe you can relate…

Comparisonitis in this form was unhealthy then, and is still unhealthy today.

Once I became conscious of it, I started paying closer attention to how I feel when my choices align with my authentic self. Wearing clothes or engaging in activities that aren't meant for me diminishes the joy that comes from staying true to my alignment.

Stay curious about your decisions. Before acting on them, pause and ask if they feel right for YOU!. By questioning ourselves and tuning into our body's responses, we discover answers that guide us to follow our instincts, rather than conforming to someone else's expression of themselves.

How about a quick game of ‘THIS…OR…THAT’?

THIS (AUTHENTIC)…

OR THAT

(CONFORMING)?

Analysis Paralysis:

If you find yourself trapped in this mode, acknowledging its grip is the first step to freedom.

When you find yourself in analysis paralysis, permit yourself to be flexible and imperfect. Remind yourself that the fear of an undesirable outcome can feel heavy and permanent, yet more often than not, it’s not the case.

When I find myself in the endless cycle of ‘Analysis Paralysis’, it feels overwhelming. No options appear sufficient for the envisioned outcome. The narrative I tell myself is that the decision isn’t crucial. It leads me to delegate decision-making to others, placing an unfair burden on them.

Engaging and expressing my desires allows me to present myself authentically, avoiding being a ‘vanilla blob’. I don’t want to occupy a mere seat at an event or in a restaurant with the people I adore; I want to be a vibrant, active participant in relationships.

Therefore, the Analysis Paralysis has got to go!

When I reflect on these behaviors, clarity shows up, reinforcing the healthy conclusion to stop overanalyzing and commit to making decisions.

This experience, among others, led me to choose the word ‘DECISIVE’ as my guiding theme for 2024. Embracing this word has already yielded significant benefits, empowering me to make swift, informed decisions.

Perfectionism's Hold:

Perfectionism, often perceived as an admirable trait, is the pursuit of flawlessness, an aspiration some label as "healthy perfectionism.

However, Brené Brown draws a crucial distinction, highlighting that true perfectionism is not synonymous with striving to be one's best. Rather than fostering healthy achievement and growth, perfectionism often operates as a shield—a defense mechanism against the potential pains of blame, judgment, or shame.

🙋This is the fear that has the firmest grip on me.

My background as an accountant, CPA, and CFO may have led me to this OR my personality led me to this profession. It’s the age-old question about which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Finding the answer to either of those questions doesn’t help us overcome the habit of striving toward perfectionism. That dives deep into the ‘Analysis Paralysis’ problem and complicates things further. Fear is SO SNEAKY! It quickly can pivot and bury us in more fear and further away from the growth we most want to see in ourselves.

I’m sharing this quote that I hear often amongst other entrepreneurs:

This message does a terrific job of prompting me to wake up and move on, much like somebody flicking cold water in my face. 💦

The Disease to Please:

My personality trait is that of a ‘fixer’, which resembles this ‘Disease to Please’ to some extent. It’s unknown if I was born to be this way, but I have the distinct feeling that it evolved as a perceived survival technique years ago to protect and support those people I adore. It continues today.

If you are also a people pleaser, or ‘fixer’, here’s what is at risk when we continue to do this: The person we are helping didn’t ask for my help and may not want it - and we don’t grow.

Engaging in this tendency to fix things or do things for others, takes up time that I could be moving priorities forward.

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t be helping others. Of course, it’s important to help somebody out every day - when they ask for it or when they accept the offer to help.

What I learned not too long ago is that when I ‘stay in my lane’ of alignment, I prosper and can help others better through my confidence, healthy vibe, energy, and authenticity.

My hope is that this blog post has helped you learn something new about yourself and identify if you’re letting fear play a part in your life where it doesn’t belong.

Remember, fear isn't a stagnant force; it evolves and adapts to our experiences and surroundings. My action for you is to unravel the different faces of fear, understand their nuances, and, most importantly, explore strategies to disrupt their hold on our authentic selves.

What do you want to commit to today to move past some of your inherent fears? Will you pause and become more aware of your thoughts? Will you begin journaling about each of these areas of fear and explore more about what is hidden inside your vault?

As you navigate this work, I’d love to hear how it’s impacting your thinking, confidence, and growth – CONNECT HERE to let me know how you’re choosing to do it!🌱