The One Thing You Don't Know How to Stop Doing: When Growth Becomes Overthinking

Written By Wendy Rimmelspacher

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Welcome!

Are you a driven woman who can't figure out how to slow down your own thinking?

You've done everything right. You read the books, listen to the podcasts, journal your intentions, and ask yourself the hard questions. Growth is practically your middle name. And yet — somewhere along the way — all that reflection started to feel less like fuel and more like a weight you carry everywhere you go.

There's a word for what you might be experiencing. And I heard it for the first time from the last person I expected — my friend, a librarian. She is a lifelong learner who is currently deep in a continuing education program. When I called to invite her to a live workshop, she told me she needed to skip it…because she needed time to… “UN-REFLECT”.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and said, "I'm sorry — what did you just say?"

That one word opened up a conversation — and this entire episode. Whether you're navigating a career transition, stepping into retirement, watching your kids leave home, or finding your footing after a loss, this episode was made for you.

Because growth isn't only built through understanding yourself. It's built through showing up for your life.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

•        What “un-reflecting” actually means — and why the most driven women need it most

•        The blind spot hiding inside the personal growth world that nobody talks about

•        How a CFO's question — "What can we stop doing to make room for this?" — applies directly to your inner life

•        The difference between the inhale and the exhale of growth — and which one most of us skip

•        Three honest signals that tell you it's time to step out of analysis mode and back into experience mode

•        What “un-reflecting” actually looks like in practice — and why it isn't checking out

•        A powerful moment from a live workshop where women gathered by season and asked each other the questions we're all afraid to ask

•        Why you are not behind — and what it means to be right on schedule

✨ If you're in the middle of a season that's asking more of you than you expected — or you've been thinking so hard about your life that you've forgotten to live it — this episode is your gentle nudge back.

Timestamps:

[01:15] – Welcome! The word that rearranged my thinking

[01:27] – What is un-reflecting? And why driven women need it most

[03:28] – The trap hiding inside the personal growth world

[05:00] – A moment from my own story: the CFO question that changed everything

 [07:12] – The inhale and the exhale of growth

[08:00] – Three honest signals that it's time to un-reflect

[09:14] – What “un-reflecting” actually looks like in practice

[11:05] – This is for you — wherever you're coming from

[13:35] – The afternoon I almost skipped

[15:44] – What we need from the women in our lives right now

[18:10] – Closing: You are not behind. You are right on schedule.

Key Points:

“Un-Reflecting”

The deliberate, intentional choice to step out of analysis mode and back into experience mode. Not checking out — stepping back in.

The Inhale and the Exhale

Reflection is the inhale — necessary and powerful. But growth requires the exhale too: the decision made before all the data is in, the yes said before you feel completely ready.

The CFO Question

Before adding something new, ask: What can I stop doing to make room for this? It works for financial processes. It works for your inner life too.

The Three Signals

You already know the answer. You're consuming but not moving. Growth feels like an obligation. Any one of these is your cue.

Seasons of Growth

Every driven woman may be in multiple seasons at once.  The question isn't which season you've lived in. It's which one you're choosing to stand in right now.

Worth Saving:

"Reflection, without action, is just an elegant way of staying in place."

"You are not behind. You are right on schedule."

"Sometimes the most forward-looking thing you can do is decide what no longer needs to run."

"We need presence over advice. The invitation more than the rescue."

"The most daring thing you can do sometimes isn't a grand leap forward. It's simply showing up and letting yourself be found there."

Episode Summary:

In this episode, I explore something I've been sitting with for a while — the idea that reflection, without action, is just an elegant way of staying in place.

I share the story of my librarian friend who coined the phrase that inspired this entire conversation, walk you through my own experience as a former CFO who had to learn to ask "what do we stop doing?" before taking on anything new, and take you inside a live workshop where a room full of driven women — each in her own season — got honest about what they need from the people who love them.

This episode speaks to every driven woman, wherever she is. The career woman in transition. The newly retired woman redefining her days. The empty nester sitting in a quieter house than she expected. The woman rebuilding after divorce or loss. You are all here. This conversation belongs to all of you.

Whether you're in the thick of a season that surprised you, preparing for one on the horizon, or simply feeling like you've been thinking too hard for too long — this episode offers permission, perspective, and the reminder that you are not behind. You are right on schedule.

Links & Resources:

🎧mentioned in this episode:

Judy Rooney — Once Upon a Habit In this episode, I mention a powerful afternoon workshop experience. Judy is the woman who created that space — and someone I think you should know. Listen to my full conversation with her here.

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Remember:

You are not behind.

You are not too busy to live your own life.

You are not one more podcast away from being ready.

This next chapter has room for all of you — your wisdom, your questions, your courage, your curiosity.

Every part of you belongs here.

Keep showing up. Keep stepping out of analysis and into experience. And keep believing in who you're becoming. 👠

Wendy Rimmelspacher
Next

When the Life You Built No Longer Fits: For women who did everything right — and still feel unfulfilled.