From Debt to Daring: Stephanie Hance on Money, Marriage, and Freedom

Written By Wendy Rimmelspacher

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Welcome!

Have you ever hidden a purchase from your partner or felt shame about your spending habits—and then wondered why you keep doing it even though you know better? Many of us carry financial patterns from childhood that feel impossible to break, managing money in secrecy even when it's weighing us down.

In this episode of Dim to Daring, I sit down with Stephanie Hance, an accountant who found herself trapped in a cycle of debt despite being the financial expert in her family. Stephanie shares her courageous journey from hiding purchases and managing everything alone to inviting her husband into true financial partnership—transforming not just their money situation, but their entire marriage.

From her childhood memories of watching her mom cry over bills to her own spending patterns that brought temporary relief but long-term bondage, Stephanie reveals how she finally broke free by choosing vulnerability over control and partnership over perfection.

This is your permission slip to face your own money story and discover that you're not alone—and it's never too late to rewrite the ending.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

  • How childhood money experiences create patterns that follow us into adulthood

  • Why Stephanie, as an accountant, still struggles with managing her own finances

  • The moment she realized her body was telling her "enough is enough"

  • How she prepared her husband for "the talk" about their financial reality

  • What daily financial accountability actually looks like in their marriage

  • The power of sharing every purchase—even the small ones

  • Why removing shame is essential to financial transformation

  • How financial transparency strengthened their 30-year marriage

  • Practical strategies: debt snowball, separate Christmas accounts, and grocery tracking

  • The connection between giving, values, and financial freedom

  • Why facing your finances might not be as scary as you think

    ✨ If you've been carrying the weight of financial secrets or feeling trapped by spending habits you can't seem to break—this episode is your invitation to choose partnership, vulnerability, and freedom.


Timestamps:

[00:00] – Stephanie's origin story: The $200 leather bomber jacket and early credit card trap

[00:50] – Welcome to Dim to Daring

[03:27] – Childhood money memories: Mom crying over bills and the fear it created

[06:32] – Unspoken lessons learned: Money is private, scary, and often scarce

[08:09] – The dopamine rush of spending and the cycle of fixing then hiding

[10:57] – When past experiences shape present financial decisions

[16:15] – The breaking point: When your body demands change

[20:19] – The conversation that changed everything: Inviting her husband into partnership

[24:25] – What daily financial accountability and new habits actually look like

[29:40] – Advice for women feeling behind with money: Start by facing it

[34:51] – Stephanie's most recent daring step: Morning walks and mental clarity

[35:45] – Control is an illusion story—and sometimes losing it moves you forward

Key Points:

  • Childhood Shapes Everything — Early money experiences create patterns that quietly run our adult financial lives

  • The Accountant's Paradox — Professional expertise doesn't equal personal discipline; shame affects everyone

  • Fix-It Mode Isn't Enough — Temporary solutions without addressing root patterns just restart the cycle

  • Body as Messenger — Sometimes physical and emotional exhaustion is what finally demands change

  • Partnership Over Perfection — Inviting your spouse into financial reality can strengthen trust, not damage it

  • Daily Transparency — Real accountability means sharing every purchase, not just the big ones

  • Remove the Shame — Financial transformation requires releasing shame and embracing support

  • Values Drive Decisions — Understanding what you truly value helps you spend from a better place

  • Walking Creates Clarity — Movement without screens opens space for insights and transformation


Episode Summary:

In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Stephanie Hance shares how growing up watching her mother struggle with bills planted seeds of fear, scarcity, and shame around money that followed her into adulthood. Despite becoming an accountant and climbing the corporate ladder, she found herself trapped in cycles of spending, fixing, and hiding—managing all the family finances alone while her husband remained completely in the dark.

When her body and spirit finally demanded change, Stephanie made a daring choice: she invited her husband into full financial partnership, revealing not just their debt but her spending patterns and her desire to step back from the corporate climb. Through daily transparency, shared goal-setting, and removing shame from the equation, their marriage has grown stronger and more hopeful than ever.

Whether you're hiding purchases, feeling controlled by debt, or carrying the weight of financial management alone—Stephanie's story offers both permission and a practical path forward to rewrite your money story through vulnerability, accountability, and partnership.

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Remember:

You are not alone in your money struggles.

Facing your finances might not be as scary as you think.

Vulnerability with the right person can set you free, not trap you.

Your spending patterns don't define you—they're just habits waiting to be rewritten.

And you definitely don't need to have it all figured out before you start the conversation.

Keep choosing honesty over hiding.

Keep choosing partnership over perfection.

And keep daring to be even more... YOU! 👠

Wendy Rimmelspacher
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📚The Stories We Tell Ourselves