The Gift of the Empty Seat: Why driven women need to stop shrinking and take up space

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Welcome!

What if you've been making yourself smaller before you even know if you need to?

In this episode of Dim to Daring, host Wendy Rimmelspacher shares the story of an ordinary airplane ride that became an extraordinary metaphor for how driven women live—constantly bracing for discomfort, shrinking before anyone asks them to, and missing the space that might actually be available.

Drawing from a powerful story about two sisters refusing to disappear in impossible circumstances, Wendy reveals the pattern most high-achieving women don't even realize they're stuck in: living compressed.

You'll discover why being considerate is different from being diminished, how to tell if you're bracing for tightness that isn't even there, and one small action you can take this week to start claiming the space you're already allowed to have.

This is your permission to stop shrinking and start breathing again.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

• The travel marathon setup: Why exhaustion makes us default to survival mode—and what that reveals about how we live our whole lives

• The airplane awareness moment: The difference between being considerate and automatically making yourself smaller

• The gift of the empty seat: When a "completely full flight" offered unexpected space—twice

• The book that changed everything: Two sisters, two different approaches to refusing to shrink in a world trying to crush them

• The metaphor that landed: What an empty airplane seat reveals about how we live our entire lives

• The bigger pattern driven women miss: How we live on "full flights" in our calendars, expectations, mental load, and responsibilities

• The questions that change everything: What if space is actually allowed? What if ease is allowed?

• The Dim to Daring truth: Why "dim" isn't always dramatic—sometimes it's just living compressed

• Where you might have an empty seat right now: Five areas where space might be available if you're willing to claim it

• The one-week challenge: Taking one small action that creates breathing room—and noticing how it feels without judgment

  ✨ If you've been walking through life with hunched shoulders, saying yes when you mean no, apologizing for speaking up, or feeling like nothing quite fits—this episode is your reminder that you're allowed to take up space. You don't have to earn it. You just have to claim it.

Timestamps:

[01:08] – Intro: A story that cracks something open

[01:30] – The travel marathon: Three flights, delays, and complete exhaustion

[05:43] – The familiar ritual: Navigating shared space on airplanes

[08:11] – The unexpected gift: An empty seat on a "completely full flight"

[10:06] – The book: Two sisters refusing to shrink in impossible circumstances

[12:23] – The moment it hit me: I was already making myself smaller before I knew if I needed to

[14:35] – The bigger pattern: How driven women live on "full flights" everywhere

[16:15] – What if space is actually allowed?

[16:28] – The Dim to Daring truth: Living compressed vs. claiming space

[18:24] – Your turn: Where are you bracing for tightness that might not be there?

[20:15] – The one-week challenge: One small action to create space

[22:00] – Closing: Stop shrinking. Start shining. Take up space.

Key Points:

There's a Difference Between Being Considerate and Being Diminished — You can exist fully in your space while being aware of others

Stop Bracing for Tightness Before You Know It's There — We shrink preemptively, before anyone asks us to

Living Compressed Is a Pattern, Not a Personality — Driven women normalize constant tightness as "just how it is"

Space Might Be Available If You're Willing to Claim It — Empty seats exist; we just don't look for them because we assume scarcity

Ease Doesn't Have to Be Earned — You're allowed to have breathing room simply because you're human

The Bravest Thing Isn't Always Doing More — Sometimes it's letting yourself have room

One Small Action Can Start the Shift — You don't have to overhaul your life; just notice one place you could expand

Episode Summary:

In this episode, I share what happened on an exhausting travel day when I boarded my final flight already prepared for discomfort—shoulders hunched, mentally mapping how to take up the least space possible—only to discover an empty seat beside me. Twice.

While reading a powerful story about two sisters who refused to make themselves small even in life-threatening circumstances, I had a revelation: I wasn't being considerate when I boarded that plane. I was already shrinking before I even knew if I needed to.

Drawing from this unexpected moment at 30,000 feet, I explore the pattern so many driven women live in: full calendars, full expectations, full mental loads, and a constant state of bracing for the squeeze. We've become so good at making ourselves smaller that we don't even realize we're doing it.

You'll discover the difference between being mindful and disappearing, why "dim" sometimes just means living compressed, and where there might be an "empty seat" available in your life right now—if you're willing to claim it.

Whether you're someone who apologizes before speaking up, says yes when you mean no, or just feels like nothing quite fits—this episode gives you permission to stop shrinking and start taking up the space you're already allowed to have.

Links & Resources:

📲 Follow Wendy on Social Media:

• Website: Wendy Rimmelspacher

• Instagram: @wendy_rimmelspacher

• Facebook: Wendy Sexton Rimmelspacher

• LinkedIn: Wendy Rimmelspacher

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Remember:

You're allowed to take up space—not aggressively, not at the expense of others, but unapologetically.

You don't have to earn the right to exist fully.

Being considerate is not the same as being diminished.

Having needs doesn't make you needy.

Wanting things doesn't make you selfish.

Taking up room with your voice, your ideas, your dreams, your boundaries, your presence—that's not too much. That's just you being fully human.

Life might be offering you more space than you think. But you have to be willing to claim it.

Stop shrinking.

Start shining.

Take up space—one small, brave choice at a time. 👠